Why So Terrible, padd1ngton?

So, some of you might find yourselves wondering why I’m so terrible fucking awful. It’s a valid question, and it deserves an answer. Unfortunately, since I’m such as asshole, I’m not going to give you one. At least not a straight one.

I’m not a racist or a bigot. I dislike straight people as much as gays; straight people have just as many issues as gay people, to be sure. Gay people are infinitely easier to make fun of (though Bryan Safi of infoMania does a damn fine job “flaming,” if you will, straight people) because they aren’t concerned about their image with regards to straight people which, last I checked, still make up more than 80% of the population (though lately, it seems like all women are bi…probably because the quality of men in the last three decades has deteriorated so rapidly, but that’s another post for another day). I dislike all religions about equally with the exception of Buddhism, and that’s mostly because Buddhism doesn’t come and stuff itself in my mailbox and knock on my door or build mosques in my neighborhood. I do find issue with Buddhism in the sense that it’s a fundamentally flawed, paradoxical religion. Someone online (and I’m paraphrasing here because my memory is shit) had said that in order to achieve nirvana, you had to WANT nirvana…which defeats the whole purpose in the first place.

Races are a fun one for me because people get so red-faced about it and ANGRY, too. Our society preaches equality and talks about our similarities out of one side of its face…but the realities are much starker. People are regularly bred to hate one another just because of where one was born…and our society really embraces the differences, not the similarities, between our cultures. Why is a black man 8 times more likely statistically (on average, mind you) to commit a violent crime than a white man? Because that’s why our society expects. Read the book Freakonomics by Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt if you want to know more about this.

I don’t use the irony excuse for my humor. I want you to be as uncomfortable as possible when reading what I write. And I want to know what you think. I’m here to entertain, but I’m also here to try and explain myself. I’m sure lots of people say that, and they’re total blow-hards. I may very well be one of those people, but I ask that you stick around and find out for yourself. I have a feeling it will be worth it for both of us. I hope.