Why? Could Someone Tell Me?

Generally speaking, why do people in public restrooms insist on using those paper seat cover things? Have you ever tried to use one of these? 

I'm an average-sized guy, and the application of the paper seat cover device does nothing to enhance my bowel movement experience. For one, I'm pretty sure I'm following the directions on this thing when I do feel paranoid enough to need one of these...and it always fits awkwardly at best on the toilet seat. Then...are you supposed to tear off the flap thing? This part is never adequately explained, in my opinion. If you don't, you risk pissing all over it if it hangs inside the bowl (assuming I'm correctly placing this part of the seat cover in the front of the toilet). So, you tear it off. Then, you sit down and do your business.

After several minutes of sweating and grunting and straining to please the future Mrs. padd1ngton, I've worked up quite a froth on my skin. This is the case in even the nicest of bathrooms, no matter how well air-conditioned. Maybe I just need to adjust my diet. At any rate, when I finally finish up, I do the "one-creek lift" (as opposed to the "under the mountain," which allegedly only works if you have a vagina)...and this is where the first hint of problems arise. This supposedly sanitary, 1/16th of a inch thick paper device that was supposed to protect me from the heinousness that is this public toilet is now stuck to my ass. That's hardly comforting, is it?

So now, I have two choices. The first is to peel the paper device from this particular cheek and continue to wipe. I imagine this is the usual choice for most of the first world (which is, coincidentally, the only place you would even find this item...let alone hear of anyone using it -- I hear that people crap in their own water supply in some countries. Here: you think you have it so good? Check THIS out.)...but what about the alternative? Some might try to disengage from the saturated, pulpy apparatus entirely at this point. This would be foolhardy, however, as you risk "rubbing" and other things that you'd rather not consider.

No matter your choice, ultimately, you WILL end up peeling this paper nightmare off of your lower half and basically folding it into the toilet. Pieces of it will invariably be stuck to your ass until either the sweat dries or your wife picks it off you later that evening.

Why do we do this to ourselves? I will accept any and all answers. Thousands and thousands of years of human evolution...and this is the best we have? Wonderful.